Dr. Jeanine Austin

Love in the Land of Loneliness
by Joseph Dispenza

"All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?"
The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby

"Lonely People Face Higher Risk of Heart Disease," Science Daily headlined recently, revealing perhaps more than it intended about what alternative medicine calls the mind-body connection in human health. As if we needed to be reminded by science that loneliness is literally a state of heartsickness, heartache, and even heartbreak.

"Lonely individuals tend to perceive their social world as more threatening than non-lonely individuals," states the study in Psychosomatic Medicine, where the findings were first published. And the problem gets worse as one gets older. For instance, one of the barometers of heart disease, systolic blood pressure, "rose with age in lonely men and women while it remained more stable in men and women who were not lonely."

Look around you and, if they are not at home hiding under their beds, you will find a fair number of lonely people close by. In fact, you may be one of them. If you are, you may be taking your blood pressure medicine dutifully every day, putting up barricades to the threats of the social world - and waiting for the miracle of romance that, with one forceful whoosh, will pull you out of your misery and into the life of awe, wonder, and joy that you have always imagined for yourself. Umm, love.

According to psychologists, these are some of the symptoms of lonely people. They tend to be self-preoccupied with excessive work, they are unhappy with family relationships, they have negative attitudes towards life, they drift into self-condemnation (and into judgment of others), they have few or no friends, they will often feel worthless, helpless, powerless, unacceptable, and self-absorbed.

Oh, and another important indicator: they hold exceedingly high and unrealistic expectations about relationships, which they often view through rose-colored glasses. When these impractical hopes and aspirations are not fulfilled in ordinary connections with other people, the lonely person will become frustrated and disappointed. Depression follows, and then, if it is allowed to spiral downward, despair.

If one is lonely, what can be done about it? One of the most powerful messages we receive from our culture is that romantic love will heal the pain of loneliness. The refrain is everywhere in our movies and literature, advertising and the Internet. Listen to any lyric from the Great American Songbook of the last fifty or sixty years, and you will get the message: I was alone and forgotten, I was living in Heartbreak Hotel, it was just me and my shadow - then you came along, and now my life is perfect.

But is romantic love the only answer to the problem of loneliness? While it may be true that love heals all, holding out the expectation for the kind of romantic love we read about in books or watch on TV or at the movies to heal a lonely heart might be unrealistic. Can anyone live up to the paragons that are presented to us by popular culture? Can any relationship measure up to the ideal of courtly and romantic love that has been served up for us since the Middle Ages?

In an era when loneliness is endemic, we may be called upon to create new ways of being in connection with one another. The old model of relationship of one man and one woman (or man/man, woman/woman) - which does not guarantee a rescue from the depths of loneliness, in any case - may be obsolete. Fully half of all marriages end in divorce; figures are not kept on abandoned relationships outside marriage, but we must assume that, without a legal contract, many more than half of all couplings uncouple after a while. Mutually satisfying one-on-one relationships seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

Could community be a new model for relationship? Living together with two or three or four or more people may actually be a way to enjoy the heightened companionship we had on the best days in the old "just me/just you" model. Living in community may not fill all our needs (I am thinking of sexuality), but for those of us of a certain age, having already surpassed the terminal ages of our grandparents, or even our parents, those needs may not be as urgent as they were in our personal past. With time our biology changes; a familial kind of friendship, with its shared loyalties and intimacies, may be enough for us to feel fulfilled.

Our culture offers us precious few models for a second blooming of love in our lives. Instead of forever pining away for the man who got away or for the girl of our dreams who never materialized, experimenting with communal living might be the door to the comfort, security, and joy we had expected, perhaps foolishly, from older ways of doing relationship.

Living in community also has a spiritual dimension. "It is possible that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual," says the spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hahn. "The next Buddha may take the form of a community - a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the earth."

This new model of relationship could not only heal us from the of misery of loneliness - it might also help to heal our ailing planet, so desperately in need of our attention and affection.

Joseph Dispenza is a spiritual counselor in private practice. He is a co-founder of LifePath in San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico and the author of God On Your Own, and several other books.

(Article reprinted with expressed permission from Joseph Dispenza~Thanks again Joseph!)

 

~SDS~

Please check out my article "Self Actualizing in the New Year"
in Mystic Pop Magazine

~SDS~

 

 

Hypnotherapy and Other Healing Modalities with Native American Toltec Shaman
Don Mario Ramos

Don Mario Ramos

JA: Don Mario, you have such a rich cultural and academic background as well as extensive training in many modalities. Can you tell our readers a little bit about your work with hypnotherapy and Neuro-linguistic Programming (N.L.P.)?

DMR: Hypnotherapy and Neuro-lingustic Programming provide such professional settings to delve into the subconscious mind and really access the source. These classical approaches offer the finest in self-improvement paradigm shifting for greater ease and revitalized inspiration around difficult aspects that once seemed so entrenched and impossible to mitigate. The successful power of healing and happiness truly rests within. Certified Hypnotherapy and N.L.P. are among the leaders in the field of searching for the vital energy and awareness that brings wholistic ideal wellness of being in three dimensions: physical, mental, and spiritual.

 

JA: If we are hoping to actualize our lives in 2008, how might we go about it?

DMR: Actually, embracing wisdom with lots of simple loving hope also means to hold open space for “A” truth, not only “the” truth. There are many levels of achievement and each state of appreciation actualizes its own sense of dignity and subsequent peace. That’s right, Dignity then Peace, deeper and deeper, or lighter and lighter. Learning about one’s own development and learning process is essential. New ideas and strategies are usually the keys and the strings that lead to the vision infinite tapestries of joyful, ceremonial procession through doorways of love and prosperity. At times leadership implies stability and success however; the virtue is persistence in going toward an unknown paradigm, having faith in what you do, while always honoring your rest. 2008 may relate as the year of the Whale that swallowed us whole and took us for an amazing journey. You see, visualization is essential and it flows, which keeps us motivated, anticipating and creating. If one can do it slowly and with great sensory acuity, then the flurry can storm through and actually bring in that everlasting season of ideal well being and soul sobriety.

 

JA: In terms of a healing collective consciousness experience, where might the spiritually focused place attention, intention and energy?

DMR: Whether I’m speaking to all the people, sharing with a specific group, conversing with an individual, or educating myself in a deepest way than ever before, inspiration and gratitude are my closest friends. The breath is a powerful spiritual ally. The breath is the true teacher. As one becomes consistent and innovative in learning to feel, listen, look, and then act more profoundly, one finds the subtle connection to all life that allows a new warm Sun of reciprocity to manifest. The gratitude we summon will affirm the immortal umbilical cord connection to Humility, Humanity, and Happiness that, co-creatively, protects and uplifts us all. Even if it doesn’t exactly resemble our vision yet, gratitude for the moment is paramount in creating further shifts toward ideal collective consciousness.

I remember, as a young child, when my mother, Gloria, started up the old Toyota Celica to take me to school, pregnant with my sister, she would affectionately rub the dash board and call the car “Baby Chulo” (meaning beautiful little one). We often disregard the innocent playfulness of the spirit of children as true wisdom. Now I realize that’s exactly what it takes to spiritually focus, place my absolute attention, and harness the potential and actual energy. That is, how can I convey my sincere concern for the environment unless I understand that that same fire in the engine of my car is linked to the omnipresent soul like the fire and heat that enlightens my heart and body? The resources we manage embody a kind of innocence and divinity. So, taking care of life becomes a rewarding relationship of true love and affection, not just the responsibility of doing what’s correct and efficient.

JA: What part does compassion play in the healing of our lives and our planet?

DMR: Wow, compassion is the planet. I’ve seen compassion revitalize the sick and tired. Compassion is the most ancient well spring of Grandfather/Grandmother Earth. It stirs within like an ocean of enlightening fire, ready to ignite all of our faculties to blaze a new trail like a million horses of thunder and light. And, please, there’s no worries, the tears that are shed from this infinite ocean-fire are simply the most beautiful seeds that not only take root in the Divine Matrix of Regeneration, they continue to bless and make fertile the sacred soil of soul sobriety. Compassion is the Planet and we are the Planet. Compassion is such an organic art form. In Toltec Shamanism, the compassion that each ritual cultivates brings us closer to the acuity that transcendence asks of us. That is, becoming more connected to the raw energy of earth, life, and each other we are blessed with the abilities to return once again to that advanced utopian moment that has been waiting to receive us, and always awaits in the stillness to come.

 

JA: How might we collectively quicken the healing of our planet?

DMR: Communication is the way of life. It’s already proven that warring nations are nothing more than families feuding or siblings quarreling, even just the ego trying to annihilate the essential self. A focus on the children will draw us into each others lives and give us more energy, especially as we remember we are children, only with layers and layers of life experience. The sun and the river will crush anything whether it is gold or precious feathers. The thin ozone layer remains unseen and protects us from harmful radiation. She is what should be praised, for only she allows for a breath of fresh air, and moisture anywhere on or in this solar system. Let the topic of healing, be visualized, heard and felt, deeper enmeshed in every aspect of our lives either covertly or blatantly. Let war, greed, and Sinicism become the new disgusting viruses and infectious pestilence that we rush to cleanse and truly heal with lightening love speed. I’ll call everyone to action right now and see what results.

 

JA: Do you have a prayer or intention that you are focusing on in 2008 that might inspire our readers?

DMR: Yes, I want fathers to inspire their daughters and granddaughters. I ask the Men to engage some creativity like writing them prose everyday or creating something they love and can share with them. Men need leadership, they need to be immersed in the flow of powerful service, and then to take that momentum with them as they demonstrate the immensity of their unique roles as Men.

 

JA: Thank you so much for this wonderful interview Don Mario. It was a great honor!

More About Don Mario Ramos:

Don Mario Ramos, C.Ht. is a Certified Hypnotherapist who's work is informed by his American Indian Mexicah (pronounced Meh-She-Caw) heritage. In addition to providing vocational and avocational self improvement service through his Hypnotherapy practice, Don Mario is also on the board of directors of the Teokalli Quetzalcoatl chapter of the Native American Church. Don Mario embodies the title of Toltec Shaman as a person who seeks dynamic equilibrium with the healing energy of the divine matrix through the art of awakening and service to humanity. Hypnotherapy delves into the subconscious mind and takes a wholistic approach with various hypnotic modalities and techniques including Neuro-linguisic Programming. Tloque Nahuaque, meaning "far and near" is ancient shaman's learning state reminiscent of Haka Lau of the Huna Tradition. Don Mario Ramos seeks the heart and spirit of inspiration and, thus, is an advocate of intercultural, intercontinental solidarity and sharing of spiritual traditions. Don Mario may be reached at Mario.Ramos@Hypnosis.edu and faxed a sample of handwriting for analysis at 888-DMR-2012

~SDS~

Next Month Intuitive Beverly Morningstar: Honoring the Gifts of Others