The Enneagram with Psychologist Dr. Beverly Nelson

Dr. Beverly Nelson

 

JA:

Dr. Beverly thank you so much for mentoring me and also introducing me to the Enneagram. I really enjoyed taking your workshop at your beautiful facility Life Paths in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. How did you come to know and appreciate The Enneagram?

D.B.N:

I began learning about the Enneagram over 25 years ago and found that its use really changed the way that I viewed life. I was taught by Catholic nuns in workshop situations and began to apply it to my life and to my practice as a Psychologist. Even after all of these years, I have never lost interest. There is so much information that can be learned from the Enneagram and it can be used on an ongoing basis to enrich our lives.



JA:

Why do you think is it valuable for us to understand and appreciate ourselves and others better utilizing the Enneagram?

D.B.N:

The more we can understand about ourselves and others, the more we can live a life that is healthier and happier. For example, if I know that a person has a particular personality and they exhibit behaviors that are indicative of this personality, then I can choose not to take their behaviors personally. It's very freeing. Most people are responding to life through the lense of their personality traits and naturally respond with these traits. We can (and often do) take it personally and we're not able to see their perspective. This creates major communication difficulties.

JA:

What appeals to you about the Enneagram above other personality measures such as The Myers-Briggs Temperament Inventory (MBTI)?

D.B.N:

I particularly like the Enneagram because it tells us "why" we do something instead of "how". In other words, we can learn more about what motivates us. People might have similar behaviors, but the motivation for doing these behaviors is different based on their Enneagram type. It's these unconscious motivators that drive us and often do so without our really knowing it. That's why it's important to bring them conscious so we can be more "at choice" about our responses.


JA:

What gifts does The Enneagram offer the spiritually minded?

D.B.N:

I have found that the Enneagram can be a spiritual path as well as a psychological path. The premise behind it is that we all come into this world with a memory of the essence of who we really are and this essence is directly related to our personality type. In fact, the Enneagram teaches us that we each have a Holy Idea (our essence) that is inherent within us. For example, I'm a 1 on the Enneagram and my essence is directly related to Holy Perfection. However, when I see that everything is not perfect, my personality takes this and distorts it into the idea that I must, therefore, try to make it perfect (my ego distortion/fixation). I can then become controlling and try to make everything (and everyone) around me perfect. What a vicious circle! What helps is for me to remember that all is in Divine Order and is perfect just the way it is.



JA:

How can the Enneagram help us with the challenge areas of our personalities?

D.B.N:

The Enneagram helps us because once we can begin to uncover the unconscious motivators that drive us based on our Enneagram type, we can then begin to choose different behaviors that are more freeing rather than constricting. There are 9 types that are described by the Enneagram system. As we study the Enneagram, we can learn more and more about how we exhibit the traits associated with our particular type and what might be a healthier response.

JA:

If people are interested in taking your Enneagram workshops or some of your other wonderful workshops, how might they get started?

D.B.N:

We have a beautiful retreat center in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico where we offer workshops and retreats. There are two weekly ongoing Enneagram groups as well individual sessions available for anyone! And, there are also a variety of other workshops and retreats available on many subjects related to personal growth. You can check out our website at www.lifepathretreats.com to see what is upcoming or call us at 214-764-1743 and we'll be happy to share the information with you.

~SDS~

Next Month Dr. Rusty Barrier on Attitudinal Healing

 

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.

by ee cummings

 

If I am honest with myself, I can look back over the years and notice the myriad of times when I had a chance to participate or maybe even connect deeply but instead I choose to hold back.

It seems to me that true connection often requires emotional risk and a willingness to be vulnerable if not open-hearted. If we wish to pursue true connection, we will be challenged to move outside of our emotional comfort zone.

A dear and beloved spiritual ally of mine recently shared some of his personal challenges with me, which I know was a risk for him. His daring inspired me to take more risk and reach out in a deliberate attempt to connect more deeply. Part of this endeavor has included a move into deeper authenticity. It is Anne Morrow Lindbergh who offered, "If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others." Not only do I believe that authenticity is the way forward in creating deep connection, but I find other's authenticity magnetically attractive. My guess is I am not alone in that realization.

Today I had the blessing of meeting spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson. Ms. Williamson was speaking at my wonderful friend Dr. Rev. Michelle Medrano's church, New Vision Center, in Scottsdale, AZ. This opportunity for connection took me back mentally to one of the first times I saw Marianne speak about 15 years ago in Los Angeles. I attended the lecture with my friend Teresa. At intermission, Teresa wasted no time in going right up to Marianne to ask her about some linguistic challenges she was having with the A Course in Miracles text. I so admired Teresa for her unabashed ability to go right up to Marianne without a moment's hesitation. It took me years (probably five) to move outside my comfort zone enough to simply ask Marianne for a picture with her.

So today, inspired by my open hearted friends, I walked up to Marianne during the morning exchange and talked with her for a few minutes about the Course, our mutual friends, my gratitude for her commitment to the work and her inspiration to me as my most profound teacher. We embraced and even held hands-both in fact! When I came back for the second service, Marianne looked right at me, smiled, and said, "Jeanine, I am so glad you came back for the second service. Thank you." Sometimes God gives with both hands.

Just yesterday, my friend Justyna and I spent the entire day in Sedona, AZ. Justyna will be returning to Poland at the end of the month and the unspoken truth is it is likely we will never see each other again.

Justyna and I spent the day getting massages, eating delicious food, hiking and generally indulging whims, laughing hysterically and having a great time. At the end of our Thelma and Louise-like mad cap adventure Justyna said, "It's too bad that it took my leaving for us to connect like this." I had to ponder the potency of her declaration. It left me thinking that the only real risk we really face is never taking the chance to connect.

~Radio Shows~

Part One

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/DonMarioRamos2012

Don Mario Ramos

Part Two

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/CoachforWomenWorldwide