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Finding the Mystical and Magical in Everyday Life by Dr. Jeanine
copyright 2007 ~ October 2007
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

I saw a commercial today that made me laugh aloud. A man was beginning his day while a chorus of exuberant, if not completely over-the-top dancers, sang his day's praises. The man walked outside, admired his beautiful home and smiled happily at his steaming coffee. Suddenly, a giant tree branch fell on his car and completely crushed it.

Many of us have had the feeling of the magical in life and then something happens and we completely lose our mojo. Just like that, the ordinary, mundane and unpleasant has returned to be the focal point of our experience.

On the other hand, most of us can also relate to the feeling of the magical; suddenly our ordinary life takes on extra-ordinary qualities. Unfortunately, these experiences are often fleeting.

Just the other night I was taking out the trash and looked up at the full moon. I had an overwhelming feeling of connection, hope, and appreciation. It seemed as if something so impossibly beautiful was hung there only to communicate those feelings to me.

Not soon after returning inside the house, the feeling of connection to the mystical and magical was gone and forgotten. I was back to clipping children's toenails, making lunches for the next day, emptying and loading the dishwasher, picking wet towels off the floor and putting Spiderman Band-Aids on boo-boos.

Sometimes these experiences of feeling connected to the mystical last slightly longer. Most of us are familiar with the feeling of falling in love. Our lover's voice and touch transport us to another world where everything is alive, awakened and magical. The limits we once perceived for our lives seem to wash away and we bask in the appreciation of everything about our beloved. All the synchronicities and the shared experiences seem magical and mystical. While this is amazing time in our life, for whatever reason, it doesn't seem to last. For most people the goose pimply early stage of coupling is gone by the second year.

Most of us relate certain types of experiences to the mystical and magical while other experiences to the mundane and non-extraordinary. We may feel that a sunny seaside hide-away in Puerta Vallarta, Mexico is magical while a business trip in winter is undesirable. We may think a shopping spree to Dolce and Gabbana is magical while a new outfit purchased from Target is routine. Similarly, basking in a rose filled garden may seem magical but mowing the lawn may seem drudgery. We may think of life without our departing beloved as unbearable. How can we find the mystical and magical when he seems to have taken those possibilities with him?

The adage, "Happiness is not a destination, it is the journey" applies to accessing the mystical and magical as well. Mystical and magical experiences don't happen to us, we choose them. We don't have to wait until we go somewhere, fall in love, or appreciate something beautiful. At any given moment, the mystical and magical are there for us to appreciate.

The book A Course in Miracles discuses miracles as being shifts in perceptions. In keeping with this concept, if we open our hearts and minds, we begin to see our ordinary, temporal experiences, from of a perspective of the divine. We can decide that we will perceive our world as much as possible from this vantage point.

People who are enlightened may truly understand what it means to see the entire world as divine. An awakened individual would say that there really is no difference between a trip to Muleshoe and a trip to Tuscany. They describe the magical and mystical as not separate from the ordinary. Some may describe this perspective as a "one taste" experience. In other words, every taste or experience is one with the divine.

In order to experience more mystical and magical elements in life we may choose to see our lives as inherently mystical and magical. Those of us who desire more mystical and magical elements in our lives may deliberately decide that whatever our dharma is, we will commit to seeing all of our life's elements and nuances as divine, beautiful, mystical and magical; even when a tree branch crushes our car.

A Call for Love by Dr. Jeanine
copyright 2007
Website: www.simplydivinesolutions.com
E-mail: jeanine@simplydivinesolutions.com

If the metaphysical premise that anything that is not love is a call for love is true, we might reflect on our lives and find that unloving behavior towards us or by us was really just an attempt to love and be loved. If we look closely into any situation we can see that almost all unloving thinking or behavior was a misguided attempt at love.

If we can see all behavior in two broad categories: love or a call for love, we can begin to forgive ourselves and also forgive others. This doesn't mean we have to tolerate unkind behavior in any way, but this perspective might facilitate psychological liberation for us, especially if we are mired down in judgment, negativity or regret.

I can reflect on my own life at times when people have been unkind and sometimes even cruel to me. When I revisit these situations carefully, I can clearly see that the behavior of the offender was really just a call for love. The same is true for when I have behaved in a love-less way.

Sometimes this cry is deeply disturbed, confused or even pathetic. But if we look closely at that which has been unloving, we can see that it often just a call for love.

What To Do When You Hit The Plateau
copyright 6.29.07
By Dr. Jeanine

We've all been there! We've begun the process and we are making headway, and then we hit a plateau. It might be weight loss, a spiritual practice, a career endeavor or a home makeover. You feel stuck and you don't want to regress back to how things were before, but you feel discouraged, and perhaps bored and uninspired. What should you do?

A plateau is a wonderful point from which to re-evaluate your initial plans, goals or commitments. Could you get excited about making some shifts that would breathe some life into your goals? Could you, for instance hire a personal trainer, add some new yummy foods to your healthy diet, take a trip, add new elements to your original career plan, hire a coach, ask for help, or read a new inspiring book?

It is important at this point in the change process to celebrate the progress that you have already made. From this vantage point, you can review that next leg of your journey, to evaluate if you are on a course that still resonates with you. If not, recreate your vision building on past successes. This is what happened to me with my career. First I pursued social work and worked with different populations (such as the elderly, children, the developmentally challenged, immigrants, the indigent, etc…) at different times to build my skill level. I become known for my play therapy with children and wrote and lectured about those techniques. Later, I earned my Ph.D. in coaching (building on my first two degrees in social work). I specialized in coaching with women, and then specialized further in work with metaphysically minded women around the world. Each step was a point to reevaluate and make educational and career development plans. Following your interests and looking for exciting ways to build foundations for your life expressions can be a creative challenge. However, when plateau happens, try to look for creative ways to move forward with passion.

Sometimes, the plateau is here to help us. It is a time for integration, reflection and reevaluation. Trying to fight the plateau by racing forward may be (counter intuitively perhaps) counterproductive. Consider taking feeling stuck, unmotivated, and uninspired into your meditation and prayer practices. Ask the plateau what it is trying to tell you, listen carefully and acknowledge these insights. Take action if necessary. Carl Jung told us that the psyche is always trying to heal itself. How is your plateau trying to heal and help you?

Don't Throw Your Pearls Before Swine by Dr. Jeanine
copyright Oct. 2007

Several months after my puppy dog Grace had been weaned, my children and I took her back to speak with the breeder and to visit her mother Sweet Pea. My dog was so excited to see her mother. She jumped all over her and licked her and did whatever she could to get her attention. As it turned out, Sweet Pea could not be bothered. She didn't acknowledge Grace in any way, shape or form. This behavior rather alarmed my young children; they weren't expecting Grace to be ignored by her own mother.

This unfortunate relationship reminded me of so many I have known, some personally and some professionally, involving my clients.

I remember a relationship where I was being treated unkindly, but rather than rock the boat, I said nothing, and I grew resentful. Then the negative experiences in the relationship reached a critical mass, I could no longer ignore the meanness. Although I remember crying hysterically, the quiet observer inside of me felt a distinct clarity, without question I knew it was time to pack up my pearls, go home and never ever come back.

Spiritually, when we think of going home, we are talking about going back to center, for some this means going back to God. Going home is a healing journey, it is about returning to truth. When I was involved with people who were mean and disrespectful to me, I wasn't honoring my truth. Moreover, these people were taking up a space in my life, along with energy and attention that might be used to share my pearls with others who would appreciate my gifts and might even encourage me to add pearls to my existing necklace.

Some people wonder why they don't have loving and supportive people in their lives. Many times these people are courting people that will never understand them or appreciate them. Who knows the reason why and really, who should care?

Really we should thank these people. These rejecters are our teachers. They can help us get so uncomfortable that we are forced to take action. Bless them and move on.

Maybe we will find another church community, another primary relationship, another spiritual path. We certainly don't want to jump out of relationships at the slightest provocation; however, if we are being rejected, abandoned and treated poorly by a key person or group in our life, we are wasting our gifts by pursuing the Sweet Peas in life. We may choose some limited contact or we may choose to just give up that they will ever appreciate us. The practice of just giving up on receiving any kind of acknowledgement or approbation from these people can be a very liberating spiritual practice.

Certainly, it is demeaning to beg for someone's love. As we grow older we find people either love us and appreciate us or they just don't. If we really love ourselves, we seek to surround ourselves with those who love, respect and appreciate us.

Some people will have a session with me and say, "Why couldn't my mother love me?" To which I answer, "She couldn't love herself. But you are loveable. Her shortcomings or mental health challenges have nothing to do with your inherent worth. Stop the cycle. Find healing mother archetypes in your environment. Heal. Acknowledge your worth." Don't waste your energy and throw away joy trying to make someone love you if they don't.

Some may see these aforementioned practices and perceptions as radical. Embracing and honoring one's true self has always been radical business. However, to spend your life as a martyr in the presence of those who are mistreating you is not healthy. In order to start to create more healthy relationship patterning, start appreciating yourself. Follow your passion and don't check in with them for their feedback~you probably already know what it is (hint: whatever it is, it isn't supportive). Take your pearls and go home.

The Essentials by Dr. Jeanine August 10, 2007
copyright 2007
~Simply Divine Solutions~
Personal Coaching for Women Worldwide

Sometimes the women I coach come to me as a last ditch effort in attempt to create a happy life. Many times they say, "I've tried everything and nothing worked, or at least nothing worked permanently." Many of them have lost the weight, but gained it back. They attracted who seemed to be Mr. or Ms. Right, but the relationship went sour. They made the money but blew it. They had or have "it all", but they still feel unhappy.

At this time in our culture we have a great deal of attention on creating the life we want. I am all for this. I for one would much rather have a beautiful home to live in than one that doesn't inspire me. I would rather have a healthy and fit body than an unhealthy body. I would rather have peaceful and loving relationships rather than conflict-ridden ones. I try to put attention on each of the areas of my life by creating career, fitness, and spiritual development goals, and intellectual, relationship, parenting, financial and fun goals. Attention to each of these areas over our lifespan is important if we want to show up fully in our lives. Neglecting any important dimension of our life is bound to have negative or unpleasant results.

However, if we don't address our fundamentals, essentials or foundational challenges, none of these other things matters. It is as if many of us are spending our time changing around the deck chairs on the Titanic. Does it really matter if the externals have manifested and you have done everything on your to do list, if you are not essentially happy? If we spend most of our day feeling like we aren't worth the trouble and say unkind things about ourselves to ourselves and others, when the perfect career or relationship for us is manifested, we will be able to really show up for the experience anyway? Our external experiences will begin to realign with what we internally believe to be true. If we think we aren't worth it, we won't be able to enjoy what we create because we think we don't deserve it anyway.

What we might acknowledge is that we have a responsibility to show up for ourselves, so that we might show up for others as well. We can show up for ourselves by asking ourselves before we eat, purchase something or enter into relationship with someone, "Am I coming from self-love or self-hate in this decision?" Even small ongoing shifts will change our foundation so much that we might build our house on solid ground. Many of us are putting the cart before the horse. Ironically, if we really commit to loving ourselves, the weight falls off, the career manifests and we start to hear, "Where have you been all my life?" on a regular basis. The truth is we haven't been there for them before because we weren't there for ourselves.

If you suspect that some self love is missing in your life, get back to basics. How might you have kinder thoughts? You deserve kindness just because you are. Many of are ravenous for intimacy and romance because we aren't loving ourselves. We are mad at our partners for not supporting us completely; meanwhile we are not supportive of ourselves at all!

We may have to work to change our self-loathing habits and be deliberate about not buying into believing we have to "be" any certain way in order to be kind and loving to ourselves. Being deliberate may include finding loving supportive friends, listening to positive CDs, watching positive movies or hiring a coach to help keep you on track. We must be vigilant with our thoughts and words so that we don't get off track. Like any relationship, self love takes commitment and dedication.

Opps! By Dr. Jeanine
Copyright 2007
November 15, 2007
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

~Please Repost or Forward to Friends~

Unfortunately, I don't have a detail oriented bone in my body. I am more of a global-gal. I am much more interested in the big picture than in the details. Since God is in the details, I often gladly turn them over!

Frequently, in my blogs I will type "our" instead of "are" and so on. Within minutes of disseminating my blogs, my more detail oriented friends and colleagues will offer a correction of my work which is invariably peppered with errors. Sometimes I wish I made fewer mistakes, but mistakes almost always have inherent gifts.

I've noticed that my mistakes seem to help people connect with me. They see that I am human and just trying to do my best while sometimes missing the mark. That is really what a mistake is~just an error.

Mistakes have the power of humbling us. It's not about playing small in the face of a mistake which makes it a powerful experience; it is about learning that anything we do which can be perceived as a mistake is not about the essential us.

When we recognize that we make mistakes (and frequently) we may be quicker to forgive others when they make mistakes. It isn't about ignoring mistakes. It would be folly if a correction or apology would remedy a misstep and we don't seize the opportunity. The gift of mistakes seems to be largely about learning not to judge ourselves or others in the face of imperfection.

Some people believe that human beings really aren't capable of mistakes. I am not from this school of thought. In the world of reality or form I believe we can and do make mistakes. But when we over-identify with our mistakes, we give our mistakes too much power. We paralyze ourselves instead of dusting ourselves off and trying again.

As I grow older, I am focused much less on the concepts of right and wrong and focus more on the more empowering concept of authenticity. Coming from authenticity is a powerful perspective and one that doesn't embrace unhealthy shame, as the concepts of right and wrong can. If we want to affect real change, we might want to ask ourselves what is authentic for us. From a healthy vantage point, we can effect real and lasting change.

When you make a mistake an empowering choice might be to use it to connect with others. If you have behaved in an untoward way can you apologize, commit to serious or permanent change and/or help others to avoid the pitfalls that felt challenging for you? How can you use your mistakes as an opportunity for healing, compassion and giving?

Picking up the Pieces by Dr. Jeanine
copyright 2007
December 24, 2007
Website: www.simplydivinesolutions.com
E-mail: jeanine@simplydivinesolutions.com

Since my boys were toddlers, I've always had a "mosaic box". Whenever anything is broken in the house my boys know that we will put the broken pieces in the box and later create something from the broken pieces. Over the years, we've had a bit of everything in the box: broken teacups and tea pots, holiday ornaments, frames, tchotchkes of all types and even beloved family heirlooms. When my youngest boy threw a football that caused my Grandmother's beautiful antique English creamer to fall to the floor and break into pieces he said, "Hey mom another cool thing for the mosaic box."

Because I am a bit of a minimalist, I actually have been secretly relieved to part with things that I might otherwise have to continue to store and care for. Although I was sad to see my Grandmother's antique creamer in pieces, rather than get upset I decided to go along with my son's enthusiasm. Jake helped me clean up the mess and put the salvageable pieces into the box.

Throughout our lives we will find that we need to put our life's broken pieces in our emotional mosaic box and see if we can find a perspective that will allow us to create something new and beautiful with our left over pieces. It is true sometimes we need to be very creative to recreate. Many times we can benefit from someone else's input or support. As in nature, after chaos and upheaval comes a time for re-ordering, healing and repair.

In any moment we choose, we can begin again. Grace offers all of us the opportunity to begin again. If we are deliberate, determined and dedicated, in the place of ruin we may build something more beautiful than that which existed before.

Contemplating the Quality of Spaciousness by Dr. Jeanine 7-27-07
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

"Mix the mind with all space. Mix the mind and sky."
~Tibetan Buddhist Meditation

When we are feeling limited, frightened, or restricted in some way, we might choose to contemplate the quality of spaciousness. Spaciousness is about limitlessness, expansion and wholeness. For the spiritually minded, the contemplation of spaciousness may help us to embrace or become one with our Source.
If we allow ourselves to imagine ourselves, no longer as separate entities with physical parameters, but as part of the universe's holographic whole, we create a sense of freedom and inner peace. Much of our suffering comes from seeing ourselves as separate, limited, different, or lonely. This practice of contemplating spaciousness through a boundless mind perspective helps us to correct these thoughts and brings us into a mental and spiritual state of unity and oneness.

We may be able to extend compassion to others through the frequent contemplation of spaciousness. In Buddhism, the embracing and encompassing of others through spaciousness is called "the practice of equanimity". In her book, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, Pema Chodron writes, "In practicing equanimity, we train in widening our circle of understanding and compassion to include the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly." When we judge others or hold negativity (often experienced as tightness somewhere in the body), we demonstrate our belief in separateness. In contemplating that our sister is really ourself, this expanded awareness helps us to recognize that judgment and anger are the sneaky agents of separateness.

A spaciousness perspective may help us to reduce our conflicts with others. Through the practice of equanimity, we might see someone who is bringing up for us untoward feelings, as a teacher, disguised but really ourself, who is showing us the path to unity. We might ask ourselves "Could we be bringing up unconsciously something in our experience with her that needs healing? Might we make peace with all others and recognize the interconnected and expanded possibilities we have at our finger tips?"
Many times women come to coach with me because they are at crossroads in their lives. They wanted to be liberated from restrictive identities and a vague or profound sense of disconnection and numbness. The contemplation of spaciousness is often a helpful practice for them. Interestingly, these clients also often want to de-clutter their homes and offices in order to create open spaces. Sometimes a literal de-cluttering process is started in order that metaphoric (mental and spiritual) spaciousness can begin.

Avoiding Overwhelm by Dr. Jeanine
November 21, 2007
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com ~ Email for a free consultation a $95.00 value

When we turn our focus away from the present moment and begin to think about the next moment and the moment after that, it is very easy to shift into a state of overwhelm, if not panic. Of course, all we really have is the present moment. If we do the thing we need to do when we can do it and focus on that task, when we arrive in the next moment we can focus on that endeavor without being harried, frazzled or plain freaked out!

The adage, "Level heads prevail" speaks to the challenge of overwhelm. With a level (read: focused and present) head we can achieve what we need to do. In fact, in moments of crisis we tend to look to those who are able to stay calm, think clearly and stay hopeful. Tomorrow being the 44th anniversary of JFK's assassination, I can't help but call to mind Jackie Kennedy's poise and presence in the face of trauma and grief. Not only was she present to swear in the next president, she meticulously organized JFK's funeral and had a birthday party for her son within several days of her husband's death. Our despairing nation took comfort in her courage and grace.

How can we avoid the vortex of overwhelm? When we feel we are being swept up it is best to switch to a different thought, even a neutral thought. Change the channels so to speak. The energy it takes to be in the vortex will most likely to derail you from your plans and your peace of mind. It is important to head overwhelm off at the pass.

Similar to our physical health, preventative choices that support our lives are better than any cure. Planning, writing things down and being proactive in every way we can are important disciplines which will allow us to not create overwhelm in our daily lives. If we do create structures in our lives, paradoxically, we have more freedom for play time, creativity and spontaneity. Sadly, many of us are running frantically ten steps behind our own lives.

If we desire to stay out of overwhelm, we will need to be vigilant. We will need to step up to the fact that as adults we are in charge, largely at least, of our lives. If we choose to be frenetic, rather than present, are we really living our life or is our life living us?

Identities by Dr. Jeanine July 24th 2007

"The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation." ~Osho

As I grow older, I find that my sense of identity is less clearly defined than it used to be. Paradoxically, I feel I know myself better than ever before. In fact, upon reflection this really doesn't surprise me. If we are growing and developing we often find that external identifications lose their meaning. I find questions such as "What religion are you?" are no longer easy to answer for me. Sometimes I want to answer "I ascribe to the inherent truth of all religions, but I belong to none." This may sound a bit cheeky to those who are just looking for a monosyllabic answer. And, of, course there is no such box to check on the census form!

Not being able to answer the "Where are you from?" type questions easily may be annoying to others at dinner parties. Still, when we can relate to all nations and yet no nations, one ethnicity or race and yet embrace them all, we experience the peace of unity. It seems that while forming identities is a way in which we may cling to some, we create separation from most others.

A Course in Miracles teaches us that belief in separation from each other is one of our foundational belief errors. Many spiritual perspectives share this belief. My coaching clients often acknowledged that a great deal of their emotional pain and existential suffering come from feelings of separation. They often feel they are "the other" in the world. Many times they express that they don't feel that they have an acceptable body, job, relationship, home, etc…They feel separate and different from others based on their ideas about their external identities.

When we bring ourselves back to our center, whether through meditation, a connection with nature, children, animals, massage, art, travel, quiet, etc… we can often strip away these outer identities, and remember ourselves as we really are. We are not our relationships, our religions, our beliefs, our bodies, our homes, our jobs, our educations, etc… Defining our essential self in any of these ways is a limiting belief. Buddha told us (paraphrasing) that what is essential about you is what does not change. Certainly, our outer identities are highly susceptible to change.

Not being a "joiner" might make it difficult for you to win the popularity contest. However, having an open mind, heart and spirit may bring you joy of oneness with all of your sisters and brothers, the deepest connections of all.

Drama As An Attempt At Intimacy by Dr. Jeanine
www.simplydivinesolutions.com
copyright 2007

We either know a drama queen, we are a drama queen, or goodness forbid, perhaps both! Some people run from high drama to high drama. They never really live the real drama of life: deep love, true passion and deep peace. They seem to get high from the intensity and frantic nature of "cheap drama". Why do we/they do it?

Cheap drama can be an addiction like anything else. It makes us high and gives us something to focus our energies on. Cheap drama seems to give us purpose, and in the moment, it seems to make our life interesting. However, the price of living cheap drama is a great one. People get burned out on us, people get tired of hearing our, "Oh my goodness you are NEVER gonna believe this one" stories, others tire of our constant cries for help and our refusal to find solutions to our problems. People lose faith in us including our bosses, our co-workers, our beloved, our families… To them, to use the new expression, we are one hot mess!

We know we are living cheap drama when we are always at the effect of our lives. We are so busy "putting out fires" that we don't have the time, energy or focus to create the life that we truly want. The first step in healing may be to recognize our patterns. We may want to detox from our lives the things that are aiding our cheap drama addiction, this might include: gossip, tabloid talk, substance use, caffeine and sugar addictions and our addiction to unloving relationships. We also may want to look at what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Much of cheap drama, it seems to me, is an attempt at intimacy. We may have learned this way of relating from our family of origin or we may have discovered this high along the way. Much of our desperation for intimacy, I believe, is because we are not doing what we need to do to nurture ourselves. For instance, when we are tired, do we rest? When we are hungry do we eat healthfully? When we are sad, do we express it? When we need help, do we ask for it?

Many the Peace of Real Drama Dance in Your Lives!
Love,
Jeanine

SURFING ON THE SEA OF CONTRAST BY DR. JEANINE
Copyright 2007 AUGUST 28, 2007

It is difficult when we find ourselves dealing with a situation that we would never want consciously to create. These days, when many believe that we create our total reality, we may feel guilty if our life seems to contain aspects in it which are untoward. Whether we have stubbed our toe or are facing a terminal cancer diagnosis, we may wonder why these unpleasant elements have manifested in our lives. Did we create this? Are we vibrationally unfit?

With the popularity of the movie "The Secret", which is about the Law of Attraction (L.o.A.), we may be tempted to blame ourselves or others when certain things have manifested in one's life. While the Law of Attraction does have its place in the scheme of our life, it is just one of many life laws. We may unconsciously use blame as a way to distance ourselves from others who are suffering. Some may even think or actually say to sufferers, "Well, you manifested that". Ester and Jerry Hicks (Abraham) who first formally began discussing the Law of Attraction would never wish that the Law of Attraction concept be utilized to rationalize callousness or unkindness. While we want to be aware of the power we have in attracting into our lives the elements that we wish for, ultimately attracting what we want and becoming more actualized beings through contrast is also a powerful force. Most of us will relate to the seemingly paradoxical force of creating and becoming through contrast. Some metaphysicians believe that we may have asked before our birth that we be in challenging contrasting roles so that we may have opportunities to work through karma and/or to "get off the karmic wheel" altogether through the force of challenge. This idea is similar to that of a body builder who pushes her muscles against the contrasting force of weight encouraging her muscles to grow bigger and stronger. Most of us know that when we work through difficulties, we have the opportunity to become more compassionate, stronger, smarter and more actualized beings.

Most of us would never consciously say, "Let me choose this particular difficult situation to work through." If we could learn more through joy, wouldn't that be great? But, let's face it, most of us learn the most through challenge. When we deal with difficulties, we often become better people than we ever thought we would or could. We also model for others how they might survive, creating a coping model for all those who watch us and come after us. We need not feel guilty about suffering. We will all know suffering. We can choose to become bitter and angry when we suffer (which is also okay as long as we don't get stuck in it) or we can choose to become soft-hearted, loving, compassionate and smarter. Yes, smarter! My friends and I often call our challenges "reference points." We can have a good laugh about our challenges and say when something unpleasant happens (albeit tongue in cheek), "Yeah! More reference points!"

Many of the most powerful, influential change agents throughout history had difficult or challenging lives. Having the contrast to what they would have wished for or would have liked to have created given the conscious opportunity, seemed to make them the leaders and role models they became. Would Harriet Tubman, a severely beaten slave, been motivated to free others, had she been a spoiled child? Maybe. But, my intuition tells me this is doubtful. However, the means do not justify the end. Child abuse, for example, isn't justifiable because someone like Oprah, takes that experience and uses it for contrast to become more than she might have. But, people who overcome their contrasts do seem to become especially incredible stellar human beings. Again, purposefully visiting pain on others is NEVER justifiable.

I've recently noticed that most of the people in my personal life that I am closest to have had a child that died. At first I thought this was an interesting coincidence. Now, I realize that I am drawn to these people because they have overcome one of the greatest pains possible, and have become deeper, kinder, more sensitive and often deeply spiritual people. (I love you guys~you know who you are~thank you for being my friends and heroes!).

Many people will never overcome the contrasts to joy in their life. This is why we don't want to invite contrast into our lives or anyone else's life. However, I would invite anyone who has had contrasts to joy and happiness in their life to consciously catapult themselves into more enlightened and loving human beings. It is as if the circumstances of life are the rubber band pulled backwards as far as possible and you are the stone also pulled backwards for a period of time. However, when the rubber band is released you are catapulted to heights that you would not have been able to go had you not been forced backwards in contrast for that period of time.

Try not to feel guilty about your contrasts because of the tenor of our times. Remember to be gentle with yourself. If a child has a wound, wouldn't your first response be to take care of it and love it? How might you use your contrasts to make the world a better place? My goal in life is to assuage the suffering of all sentient beings (I'm shooting big!). How might you use your suffering for the positive? Like a surfer riding waves who uses the contrasts in the tides to move forward, how might you put the force of contrasts to use in your life?

What Perspective Will You Choose? by Dr. Jeanine August 5, 2007

"One common mistake is to think that one reality is The Reality. You must always be prepared to leave one reality for a greater one." ~ Mother Meera

Whenever I am grappling with any issue and I am stuck in guilt, anger, fear or any other unpleasant emotion, I try to remember that there must be another perspective. Many clients come to life coaching because they know intuitively that there is another perspective that will offer them solace, hope and an opportunity to recreate the life they desire. A supportive coach might ask "Can I offer another perspective?" and assist their client in viewing their challenges from a healing and more helpful vantage point. Sometimes, my clients and I will go back and forth and brainstorm different reality perspectives, even outrageous perspectives, in order to break free from the shackles of limited thought.

Not surprisingly, our most painful perspectives which have led us to our deepest suffering are the ones that feel most intransigent. We sometimes feel bound to these perspectives; we even forget that there might be another reality to be perceived. However, inherent to every challenge is an opportunity to break free from that perceived reality. For example, a prison sentence may seem like a complete dead end. However, a prison sentence may be a chance to redefine oneself, to break free of drug addiction, to earn a degree, to mentor others, to go within spirituality, to appreciate relationships, freedom and life in a way that never seemed possible or valuable before. In a similar way, a diagnosis of terminal cancer often offers the challenge to the diagnosed and everyone around that person to live each moment to the fullest. Each affected person may appreciate every moment as a sacred opportunity to love more deeply. An AIDS diagnosis may be an opportunity to reprioritize one's life in a powerful and meaningful way that one never seriously contemplated before the diagnosis.

Sometimes when I am working with a client with a "dead-end" reality, I may challenge them to shift their perspective 90 degrees. I might even ask them how they might use their perceived failings or perceived challenges and turn them into contributions of insight, healing, love and compassion.

If one part of our life seems to be coming to a close, there may be a new brighter or more meaningful reality just on the horizon. If we can use the vision of the heart to see beyond what we might see with our physical eyes, we may start to prepare for and eventually integrate a new reality. After a death, a diagnosis, a sentence, a bankruptcy, a suicide, a divorce or similar perceived loss, we are always given an opportunity to shift into a new reality, when we are ready, full of profound meaning, depth and Grace. After having walked through the fire of suffering and change, we come into our new reality with a new wisdom and profound strength, and an opportunity to hold a sacred space for our sisters and brothers who have yet to walk through their fire. When it comes time, we have the Divine opportunity to help them through their challenges; remembering that soon they also will be paying it forward.

Maximized Human Potential and The Law of Love
By Dr. Jeanine
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com
copyright 2007
11-10-07

I've noticed that some of my clients and friends have humorously begun to call me "Dr. Love". It is a nickname that I thoroughly embrace. What could be a more complimentary name? I plan to try and live up to it.

Ultimately, I believe there is no greater power or law if you will, than that of love. Divinely inspired love is the most potent force in the universe. Love has alchemical potential to transform anything into something that transcends its form or (perceived) limitations.

In U2's song "One" Bono sings, "Love is a temple, love is the higher law." A great deal of the psychological and spiritual discourse I hear is about universal laws. When working with clients I will often offer applications and strategies that are love-based. When my clients are desirous of monumental shifts and changes, why mess with weaker ideologies?

As a society, we may be tempted to think of love only as a fleeting emotion. The love I am talking about is based on active choice, true compassion and maturity. It is a force that commands attention, not something adolescent, transitory or trivial.

We are given clues throughout history, across time, cultural and religious and spiritual traditions about the power of love and how to love. Some spiritual traditions, such as A Course in Miracles, offer the idea of "love versus fear" as a simple way to break down any challenge. My clients who are highly committed to transforming their lives from the inside out are dedicated to living their lives from the perspective of love.

People often ask me "What do you think about this course or perspective?" in hopes they have found the Holy Grail of human potential. Of course, there are probably millions of ways we can grow, enhance and improve our lives while developing our spiritual depths. If you are serious about committing to a love based life, my new e-course offers structure, insight and support. The Alma Answer! 21 Sacred Soul Steps to Divine Solutions is a step by step love-based program.

If you wish to maximize your own human potential, remember that love is the choice which will take you to the most actualized, realized and ultimate place possible.

~Feeling Derailed Might Mean You Are On the Right Track~
by Dr. Jeanine June '07

Recently, a friend jokingly said to me "I'd be such a great mother if I didn't have kids!" The picture of being a great mother wasn't one she was relating to at the moment, she felt derailed by her children.

If we never went off the track we felt we should always be coasting gleefully on, we might not be available to the gifts that we learn when we careen off the road. I once heard Marianne Williamson say that our greatest spiritual learning don't happen on the days where we cruise through life. Certainly, I would always (consciously at least) prefer to learn through joy rather than suffering, most of us (myself included) probably still learn the most through challenge.

It occurred to me recently, when faced with a challenging situation, that I was right where I needed to be. There were zillions of inherent lessons. It wasn't an opportunity gone astray~it was a deep healing. If only I would've give up my ideas about what should of happened. Only then could I realize that it was exactly as it was supposed to be, it had come up for healing, and now I can choose again.

Maybe we can re-frame derailments and let the experiences be what they were/are and move on. Many of us on a serious spiritual path may spend as much or more time beating ourselves up for being derailed as we actually felt being "derailed".

Many people who study The Secret come to me with this issue. They feel they are "doing it wrong" or ashamed that things aren't manifesting the way they want. However, another interpretation of derailment is as a clearing. In Illusions, Richard Bach writes "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

What if we choose to bless and accept our challenges and embrace what we can about them? Our fear may try to stop us. In her book Fire in the Soul, Joan Borysenko writes "In fear, we wish only to rid ourselves of apparent negativity rather than searching our souls for its gifts." If we let go of expectations and fear and stop white knuckling it, we may find the peace of acceptance.

Maybe we were and are right on track after all!

Love and Blessings!
Dr. Jeanine

The Dance Between Peace and Chaos and The Truth About Balance
By Dr Jeanine
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com
December 1, 2007
copyright 2007

Most of us are very familiar with the dance between peace and chaos. Everything is going smoothly or at least nothing stands out as being a major challenge. We feel like life has allowed us to take a deep breath. We feel we have finally reached balance. Then along comes something to deal with, something that demands our focus, and something that re-orders our priorities. We wonder when we are going to finally reach a peaceful equilibrium and blissful homeostasis.

In his book Toxic Success, Paul Pearsall writes that this state of balance isn't something that is natural for us. Balance does not happen in nature; there are times of peace, followed by upheaval and then the pattern repeats itself. As humans, he says, we may desire arriving at some perfect state, but this is not our nature. Life is always in process. For many of us, this doesn't feel like good news.

I used to think whenever I achieved some desired state that I would be "done". As someone who likes to get things done I started to notice that no matter how neatly the goal or vision seemed to convey completion to me, once achieved there was always something beyond that achievement, state or idea. The old saying that the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next took on personal meaning for me. However, the question occurred to me, if we could ever be done or complete, would we need to be students of the school of life on planet Earth?

Chaos allows us to create and recreate and can catapult us to the next level of personal and spiritual development if we work with it rather than resist it. If we yield to chaos and learn from it, chaos can be an incredible teacher. For those of us who love a bit of control, this idea may feel challenging to integrate.

I'm not talking about cheap contrived drama when I write of chaos. I'm writing about chaos that arises naturally from participation in life which forces us out of our comfort zone and spurs us on to our next level of human potential. If we feel like we needn't grow or learn anymore, we aren't advancing the plot. Perhaps paradoxically, this is not to suggest that you are not whole as you are, you are, but your expression in the world can be deepened and developed by embracing change and the dance between peace and chaos.

The chaos of the world can certainly enhance our spiritual development. We can embrace both the temporal and the spiritual and each can inform the choices of the other. A Buddhist may characterize this vacillation as the dance between samsara and nirvana. Samsara is about life in the world and nirvana is the blissful peace state of the enlightened master.

Many of us feel we want to be only in the state of nirvana and we get very discouraged and even plain bummed out when we have to deal with messiness of samsara. We are tempted to think if only we could be on a mountain top and in the lotus position blissed-out we would be happy! But chances are good you would still be struggling with samsara even then. Maybe your bum would be sore from sitting so long, maybe you would feel cold and chapped sitting on a Tibetan mountain top and perhaps you would miss your loved ones.

If we could accept from the beginning that temporal life is always in a state of change, we might be able to accept the dance as we are moving to the music.

Hindus believe that the chaos we speak of is maya or illusion. This perspective may help us deal with the chaos but not get caught up in it. Further, if we yearn neither for peace or chaos, samsara or nirvana, but accept both states, as if we are holding them gently in our open hand, we may develop and deepen our inner peace and truth that can be a great comfort to us in times up change, upheaval and struggle. Let's forgive ourselves for not yet operating from the perspective of an enlightened master and accept ourselves as learning pilgrims on life's journey with its many vicissitudes.

"Be-ing" The Goddess: Embracing the Feminine Principle
by Dr. Jeanine
copyright August 7, 2007
www.simplydivinesolutions.com
"A little more matriarchy is what the world needs, and I know it. Period. Paragraph."
~Dorothy Thompson

Before last year's New Year, many people asked me what my New Year's resolutions might be. I've always liked the idea of starting anew and consciously developing aspects of one's life in order to live more fully. However, much of the well intended query made me uncomfortable. As soon as I told my friends what I wanted to create, they immediately started in with, "How are you going to make it happen" and "What steps are you going to commit to in doing this". As I coach, I know as well as anyone that if you want to create something that has eluded you, you do want some kind of action plan. But, the intent of their questions, which felt more like a police interrogation, had a somewhat desperate, intense and frankly unappealing energy about it.
In fact, in my life, achieving goals has not been nearly as difficult for me as just "be-ing", accepting and surrendering. I have been seduced more times than I'd like to admit into "making things happen". There is nothing inherently wrong with "doing", however I believe there is something unhealthy about striving desperately and not being able to be truly happy until you achieve that elusive goal. I know the best things I have manifested in my life are the things I let gently come into being, an intuition followed by an action that was obvious and natural. A Course in Miracles offers, "I need do nothing."

When we just "be" and accept who we are and where we are it can often feel strange or even wrong. The wisdom of the world is mainly masculine in orientation. I am not talking about men~I'm talking about masculine energy. The energy I refer to is assertive "doing" energy. Counterintuitive perhaps to the dominant thought in our world, the "be-ing" or Goddess energy is a very powerful force. Sometimes, I laugh with my clients calling myself the "Anti-coach". Rather than do do do, sometimes their coaching homework asks them to be gentle, be still, let things unfold, and observe. Many of my clients who like creative expression will design dream posters of the life they wish to manifest. Creative expression is the Goddess at work. Projective art projects allow expression to unfold in a gentle non-linear way. Dance offers us a similar opportunity to express and be.

Because we live in a world that appears out of balance to most of us, we may have to be deliberate if we truly want to embrace our inner Goddess. Again, this is gender non-specific, this is about masculine and feminine principles or energies, not the physical body. Paying attention to the world around us may help us to be at choice with what we choose to believe and create for ourselves. We may have to examine closely our world view which has devalued or silenced our Goddess. In what ways might you embrace your inner Goddess?

The Power and Promise of Forgiveness by Dr. Jeanine
copyright 2007
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com

I'm at an interesting stage of life both chronologically and developmentally. I have been deeply humbled by my mistakes, miscalculations and at times, plain old-fashioned stupidity. The gift in this reflection is that I believe it is much easier for me to forgive, both myself and others.

I used to scoff at the idea that we are all doing our best. To me, it seemed, clearly some people are not doing their best. From the vantage point of my 41 years however, I do believe most of us are trying our darndest, and we all need forgiveness.

This doesn't mean, of course, that we shouldn't ask for forgiveness and make retribution when we've mucked up. We should. Steps 8 and 9 of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-Step model affirm this. (Step 8: Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all. Step 9: Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others).

The Tao says that we get upset by other's behavior because we think it matters. In other words, we think other people's behavior can harm the real us (our essential self) and we become unforgiving. By not forgiving, of course, we only hurt ourselves. A Course in Miracles tells us "Nothing real can be threatened". What is "real" is the love within all of us.

According to Marianne Williamson's number one bestseller A Return to Love, "Forgiveness is "selective remembering"-a conscious decision to focus on love and let the rest go. […] ."

For most of us, being lead by our ego, we find viewing our fellow human beings as innocent; especially the ones who we feel have hurt us, as a threat to our very being. If we are not at the effect of what someone has done to us, who are we? And after all, we are in the right and we define ourselves as such. However, we might ask ourselves the question, "Do I prefer to be right or to be happy?"

Some people become confused when they are first introduced to the concept of forgiveness in the book A Course in Miracles. They become afraid that they will no longer be able to create healthy boundaries between themselves and others because now their brothers are seen as sinless. They are afraid that they will not be able to reject unkind, thoughtless or unsavory behavior towards them. This is in fact, not at all true.

It is always okay to release someone with love. You do not have to tolerate behavior that feels inappropriate to you. In A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson describes breaking up with a boyfriend after he had not followed through with calling her when he said he would. She was concerned that if she didn't continue her relationship with him as it was, she was not forgiving him. She finally realized that she could break up with him and continue the relationship in a different way. She writes, "I hadn't rejected a brother. I had simply accepted myself in a whole new way. He had a win-a lesson learned and a friendship if he wanted it-and I had a win. Forgiveness hadn't turned me into a doormat. It had taught me how to own my yes and own my no, without anger, with dignity and with love."

Communication Styles and Strategies by Dr. Jeanine
Copyright 2007
www.simplydivinesolutions.com

In the Bible we read "And first there was the word". After reading that often I think, "Then everything got really tricky!"
There are different ways of communicating which most of us are familiar with. There are probably others on the continuum, but the four basics modes of communication are: passive, assertive, passive-aggressive and aggressive. We are all working towards becoming assertive. I hear from a majority of my female clients that they struggle with being too passive. They are in fear of being assertive because they feel their assertions may come off as aggressive or as an attack on the other person. They don't want to ruffle feathers, be unlikable or goodness forbid, plain old mean! However, if we don't express our truth we become resentful and often passive-aggressive or even outright aggressive.
When I write the words "express your truth", I don't mean always mean verbally. We can honor our truth by, for example, not going out with him anymore, not buying from that vendor, not power struggling or deciding to turn our challenges with another person over to Spirit. When I was five, I had a neighbor playmate that I experienced as bossy and mean. One day she said to me "I think you and the other kids don't like me because I am a Jehovah's Witness." I didn't know what a Jehovah's Witness was, so I clarified for her, "No we don't like you because you are mean and bossy." She never played with me again and I knew I had really hurt her feelings. It would have better to deliver my truth with kindness, while owning it (starting with "I feel") or even just accept her, assert boundaries and move on. Of course, that is a big bill for a five year old, but sometimes it is just as challenging for a 41 year old!

Sometimes clients will reiterate conversations or send me emails of the communication they have had with the person in question. Almost always, my clients speak or send their assertions with loving kindness. Funny thing is, even though they have spoken or written with love, they nearly always second guess their communication and want to retract what they've said or written. This is especially true if the person responded to their assertiveness with aggression or passive aggression.

Perhaps the best way we can learn to be assertive is to practice when we aren't engaging in challenging communications. Look around for others who speak assertively with kindness and respect. Can you take something away from witnessing their talent (it really is a talent!)?

If we don't learn how to communicate with others the price is high. We become aggressive and find ourselves attacking and therefore alienating others. Another possibility is that we become passive-aggressive. We make snide remarks, we gossip, and perhaps worse, become bitter. In another words, we become people we don't want to be. Honor your truth with love and compassion. The price is too high not to.
Problem Solving by Dr. Jeanine
copyright 2007
www.SimplyDivineSolutions.com
Although I believe the joke, "Where there is a will, there is a relative", I also believe that "Where there is a will, there is a way". This may seem naïve to some, but my experiences over the years have consistently been, once I truly begin to open myself up for solutions, that answers begin (sometimes I admit it takes awhile) to appear. Answers may not always be in the form I desire, but some type of peace and support always makes itself available to me.

We all have had a "Yeah, but…" friend. We try to help our friend who has asked to find a solution to their problem and they always have a "Yeah, but…" answer in response. If we are honest with ourselves, many of us have been that "Yeah, but…" person.

Sometimes, deep down or unconsciously, we want to stay stuck in our problem. The problem we know may feel more comfortable than the solution we don't know. We often resist what we don't know, and resistance is exhausting!

By now, we are all familiar with the adage that, "The solution to our problem does not lie in the same level of consciousness that created it". We must try to solve our problems with more sophistication that we did in developing it. Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing, but expecting a different result". We must go deeper to find our solutions and to be open to a miracle (however that may manifest), so that when our answers to our problems appear, we might recognize them. Let's not miss the miracle(s) right under our noses! The real miracle may not, for example, be a physical healing from cancer, but from a shift in consciousness from fear to peace. In the play Hamlet, Shakespeare writes, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

One thing I have also learned during my tenure on planet earth is that our solutions are always found in the present, not in the past or in the future. My friend Lauren, when feeling overwhelmed with a problem, will take a long walk and observe aloud all the things she sees to help her get into the healing present. From the vantage point of the present, she nearly always has a problem solving breakthrough.